Spiritual Abuse

Recently in my Deviant Behavior class we have been talking about different kinds of abuse. Many people have heard of physical abuse, mental abuse, and emotional abuse, but not many people have heard of spiritual abuse. This is something that seems to be a fairly new concept and one in which I believe can be just as damaging as the others and even more so. A friend of mine gave me this website that talks more about spiritual abuse: www.healingspiritualabuse.

com
Check it out it's pretty cool, it defines spiritual abuse as "...similar to emotional abuse and occurs when the leaders of a church or religious organization use their power and position to manipulate, control and/or coerce their congregation/followers/members, whether on purpose or with good intentions" and "...includes, but is not limited to mind-control, thought reform, coersion, manipulation, deception, legalism, authoritarianism, guilt trips, judgementalism/"Phariseeism", holier-than-thou attitude, and a "we are right and everyone else is wrong" attitude."

Chances are that if you have been a part of a church/religious institution whether in membership/attendance/leadership then you have had this done to you or have possible even done it without even knowing that it was happening. I know I was in both areas at one time and sometimes still do it by accident. If you are not sure here are some signs that spiritual abuse is happening:

* Stating personal religious convictions and preferences as fact for everyone
* Requirements for church attendance
* Dress and clothing requirements (appearance is a priority)
* Closed minded about different interpretations of Scripture
* Misinterpretations of scripture
* Questioning the leaders is discouraged
* Judging others
* Excessive gossip
* Hostility towards "heathens" and others who are not believers
* Only people who go to a certain church are believers
* Only reading a certain Bible version is allowed
* Sexuality is seen as dirty, bad, and/or sinful
* Strict discipline standards for children
* Promoting spanking above all other forms of discipline
* Guilt trips for taking vacation and missing church
* Teaching Tithing
* Emphasis on traditions
* Music standards
* Performance appraisals
* Push towards perfection
* Required devotional or quiet time
* Levels or degrees of spirituality
* Focusing on the penalty for sinning
* Emphasis on God "chastening" you
* Looking down on people who have left the church or denomination
* Requiring a refusal of medical services
* Required membership
* Discarding psychology
* Mental health issues are considered sinful or non-existent
* Depression/Anxiety considered a sin
* Your not spiritual enough if something bad happens to you
* God is judging you for sin in your life
* Being told "You need more faith" or "You don't have enough faith"
* Child discipline tactics that include warnings about God's wrath
* Rigid black and white thinking/answers to questions
* Too much emphasis on the spiritual and not enough emphasis on the physical
* Fears about the punishments of God
* Negative messages about sexuality
* Taught to deny the apatites of the body
* Emphasis on reading the Bible and praying heavily to appease God and avoid punishment
* Messages that you aren't spiritual enough
* Your "suffering" (whatever it may be) is a result of some sin in your life
* Your physical illness is punishment for some sin in your life

Now I do necessarily agree with all of these (partially because I am confused by what they mean), I do think that there is some grain of truth. Just as there may not be evidence about emotional abuse, there may not be evidence of spiritual abuse too. Just because there are not any physical signs does not mean that it has not or is not happening. People can heal from physical abuse quickly, but spiritual and emotion abuse takes time to heal, and many people carry the abuse with them their whole lives, and can never fully heal from it.

Unfortunately many people do not know that they have spiritual abuse, because spiritual abusers are good at concealing the spiritual abuse, whether they mean to or not. The only way to stop this from happening is to realize that it is happening, and not allow it. Power and fear are very strong tools, tools that have been used by the religious elite almost from the beginning. No one has the right to tell us what to do, especially now that we do not have one person who can read, give us his interpretation of what anything says, and make us feel guilty if we do not follow what he says. We can read, we can think, we can learn, and we can understand. If we allow spiritual abuse to continue we are giving other people control of our lives and who we are called to be.

However, we must be cautious on blaming others for our spiritual abuse. We do not know whether or not they intended to abuse us spiritually or not. We also do not know what kind of spiritual abuse that they may have suffered or how far it goes back to whether or not someone knowingly abused someone else spiritually. Instead of blaming someone else for your spiritual abuse, look at yourself and think about what you can do to stop it in the future with those you meet.

One final note that I have learned is that no matter what story you are being told, you must look at who is telling the story and why they are telling the story. I know that this may have offended some people and I am not sorry for speaking my opinion. The choice was your's, and you chose to read this, so please know that I am not forcing my opinion on you and you should not force your opinion on me!! However, I do enjoy your comments to me and enjoy the fact that you took time not only to read my opinion but that you also took time to leave me with your opinion, and I will try to respond to your comment quickly. Feel free to ask me questions too about spiritual abuse, because i have not only been a part of the problem, but I have also spiritually abused, and if I did that on purpose or by accident I am sorry!!